Swimming With the Sharks: Zen and Dealing with Coworkers

Written by Jason Shields

Our world has a miraculous way of reflecting back what we believe it to be. However, all of the reflecting happens in your own mind. If you assume that there is intrigue all over the company and that your fellow coworkers are out to get your job, then that is exactly the environment that you will experience. If you were to take on a spirit of freedom and cooperation with others in your job environment, than that kind of environment will likely form. The world is what you make it and a positive attitude with a spirit of compassion toward co-workers and your boss will improve your situation significantly. However, Zen has an even better option: See the world, your job environment, for what it is.

See it for what it is? Are you serious Jason? Yes. Your world is what you make it and there is an objective reality that you can see and experience. Simply put: don't make the world into anything. Just allow and be. Objective reality is right in front of your face, but you tend to cover it up or dress it up in all kinds of disguises with your own ideas of what it life should be or must be. Stop the madness! Stop trying, stop striving, stop straining to alter your job environment.

Think about this for a moment: You are not responsible for “creating” your world into something that works for you; you are only responsible for getting out of the world's way. Step back and see this world for what it is and you will find that your perception greatly increases and sharpens into more clarity. Then you will truly “see” how un-seeing you have been and how delusion has crept in to the mind. You can then proclaim, “so this is how things truly are! Wow!”

when you refuse to force your job environment into a preconceived mold that you have created in your mind, you open up to all kinds of new possibilities. You may feel that you are finally seeing your work environment for the first time. You will be able to see how just one person can influence the entire job environment with a focused, positive and nonjudgmental spirit. You can also see how another person can be just as influential through negativity, pessimism, and suspicion. You'll see both sides for once. People can influence on another, but no one person can force others to be happy or productive or content.

What will happen if you decided to stop assuming the worst, or the best for that matter, about your co-workers and supervisors/bosses? Everyone will burst into focus as exactly who they are and doing exactly what they do. Where will this leave you? With your own job to do. Your job will still include daily interactions with people and coworkers, but these interactions can be entirely free of assumptions. You will be surprised at how easy these interactions become, even with the “difficult” coworker or boss. Then you will be able to understand that you are not responsible for that particular comment that someone made. You do not have to becomes incensed over your bosses botched handling of a particular job situation. All you really have to do now is do your job to the best of your ability and interact honestly and productively with others, without feeling anger or resentment or even awe. Just be yourself and allow others to be themselves. However, if they continue to assume the worst about you, continue to make judgments regarding you or your work, or holding a grudge, simply notice it. Notice it but don't attach to it. Remember: You can't control what anyone else thinks or does!

Do you feel as though the “sharks” are swimming around your desk or cubicle? Remember, those “sharks” are solely a product of your mind and the assumptions it creates. It could be that they never had an eye on your job at all! Maybe there is not a bull's eye painted on your back! Maybe there is! It is important to remain detached in the face of office politics and this is not an easy task. How many of you go home and recreate scenes from what happened at the office? You may remember an incident where your were “humiliated” or “disrespected” or when you failed to obtain a certain goal by a certain time frame. What do you do with these circling thoughts?

If you are like most of us, you are more likely to continue to invent further mental scenarios. What could you have done differently? If only you had said this instead of that. What might others have said about you? We visualize answering differently and behaving differently. If only you could have foreseen the future! Maybe you could have changed it? The “sharks” are circling indeed, but only in your mind. Our problem is compounded further by the fact that we also work with other “shark makers” who gossip and second guess everyone and everything. Eventually, as a result, people form their little clique groups and suspect that there is a conspiracy behind every corner.

This is such a waste of precious energy! Your livelihood depends on making money and your job is critical in making that happen to a certain extent. It is too easy to place too much emphasis into work. You attach to your job, you make it so important that it causes you to suffer. Even when we assume good things about people we can get into trouble. What if, in reality, a coworker is trying to get you fired? Blindly assuming that the entire work population is filled with sweet and nice people all of the time can be naïve. Having an overly positive approach to work is not any more realistic than imagining that everyone is out to get you. You have to find an objective balance: Zen.

Choose not to assume at all. Take everything for what it is while being so mindful that you don't miss anything. This is the best way to know what is really happening in the workplace. You can then react appropriately and be in the best position to stay uninvolved with the things that go on in any work environment that squanders precious life energy.

Do not assume at all. Don't do it. When you catch yourself doing it, however, recognize it, allow it, notice it, and then let the assumption go. Go by what you know now, in the present moment, not what you expect. Besides, shouldn't you be too busy doing your job as to wasting all of that precious time? I am not suggesting that you ignore your coworkers. You can still have productive or antagonistic relationships with them. Some of them may be important players down the road, others not so important. That's fine! Living Zen means relating to the world that is full of people you do not own or control. People are who they are and they will do what they do. Accept it or suffer. The choice is yours.

Namaste

Zen and the Workplace: Getting In the Zone

Written by Jason Shields

All of us at one time or another have experienced being “in the zone” where the activity we are doing appears effortless and yet our concentration is intensely focused on the act itself like a laser beam. Whether you are swimming, running, playing an instrument or are engaging in creative writing, you have experienced the feeling of the activity being effortless, as if you could do it forever. You have, in essence, become one with the activity. You are no longer doing it, you are the activity itself. This same idea can apply to any and all forms of work, even boring, menial tasks that we dread performing.

When I speak of being “in the zone” I am referring to being in a state of “no-mind”. “No-mind” is a term used in Zen Buddhist practices to describe a mental state of seeing past the limitations of thinking and feeling. Remember this: when there are no distinctions, there are no difficulties. When you are in a state of “no-mind,” your thoughts and feelings will not get in the way between you and the work you have to do. In “no-mind,” you lose the ego, the part of you that identifies with all of the labels we attribute to ourselves and others and things. It is impossible to hold on to all of those thoughts and feelings that you have about yourself when you are completely focused on what you are doing at this very moment. Basically, you become your doing and you escape from the labels you have created for various things, including yourself.

When you learn to let go of all of your preconceptions and assumptions about yourself, your love life at the moment, your occupation, etc., you will find that your mind begins to expand. All of a sudden, you have more room up there and that room can become very helpful when it comes to concentrating and learning to immerse yourself in your work. For example, you have a project deadline at the end of this week. As you are working on this project, are you constantly worrying about the other two projects that are due in a couple of weeks? Or what about the other projects that you have not finished or are overdue? Worrying and constantly thinking about everything at once accomplishes nothing with regards to the task at hand and prolongs your anxiety.

Learning to focus on the work at hand, whether it is dish washing or solving a physics problem, is the best way to do your work better. Along with this focus, your efficiency also naturally increases. When you teach yourself to focus to the extent that your self dissolves and is absorbed by the work you are doing, this is when you achieve “no-mind” and you become one with your work.

When you busy yourself with worrying about what others in your company are thinking, or about what your boss may or may not do if you do not perform “correctly” or this or that, etc., you are missing the whole point of life. What you are looking for, what you desire is all around you, indeed, it is within you. Always has been and always will be. Stop looking into the future or searching the past for the answers to your problems which are in the now! Every step of life is an effort, both physically and spiritually because you imagine that your goal is something external and distant.

When you learn to concentrate so completely that you and your work become one in the same, barriers and difficulties in your life dissolve. Become the work and the work becomes you; there is no conflict and no difficulty. Remember, becoming absorbed in your work places no importance on any specific kind of work. In the practice of Zen, any type of work becomes worthy of total absorption, even if it is cleaning out the garage or giving your dog a bath.

In some jobs, there is little to be desired or considered worthy of being in total absorption, especially when your boss acts like an ass or you have coworkers consistently gossiping about one another. You may even feel that you are the small fish in the big pond. Shift your perspective and consider thoughtfully and purposefully how you contribute to the whole of the organization, even if you are currently the janitor or mail clerk of a major corporation. Do not stop there! How does your work relate to the world itself? Go beyond the company and into all of the other companies that yours conducts business with on a daily basis. Everything in this world is connected and no part is greater than another. You are needed in the job you have now, even if it is a job you detest. Once you accept it, learn to become absorbed in your work, you will find that your mind is open to new possibilities and opportunities either in the company or in another field altogether.

Part of “no-minding your own business” is to accept your given responsibilities as they are in your job. Accept them fully without second-guessing, without feeling critical, or living in some future thought world you mind has conjured up: “as soon as I get done with such and such, I'm leaving!” I am not suggesting that you become complacent or a robot. It means doing your job and letting all of the rest go! You will not get there overnight! It will take time and effort on your part to sit still each day and meditate on the Now. You have to train your brain and your body to sit still and just BE. This is the ultimate Zen training for work! The longer and more often you meditate, the more the peace and nonjudgmental acceptance will spill over into your work life.

Namaste!

Peace at Work: Applying Zen in Your Career

Written by Jason Shields

Why is it that the first question we tend to ask people we first meet is: “What do you do for a living?” We tend to define ourselves by what we do and what are various positions are. In the next four weeks, I will be writing a series of articles on Spirituality and the Workplace. What can adopting a more spiritual, Zen-like attitude toward work do for you? It can show you how to make the most of your skills, how to achieve the deepest level of satisfaction from your work life, and most importantly, how to place your chosen employment in perspective. We will also discuss in the coming weeks how to deal with coworkers and bosses who seem to give us trouble all of the time.

Some of us have jobs and careers that are fulfilling and rewarding while others of us have jobs that we detest going to everyday. The minute the Monday workday begins, we are dreaming of the following Friday and start of the weekend. Whether you intended to end up in your current job or not, or if you are unemployed at the moment, the fact is that you are there. No matter how much you tend to immerse yourself in your work/career, defining yourself by your job or lack of one is placing yourself in a tight box. You are setting up self-defeating, preconceived notions about yourself: your personality, values, financial and social status and how “educated” you are. When we hear that so and so is a doctor or a lawyer, we immediately see dollar signs and assume that he or she is smarter than the average individual worker. What about a preschool teacher? Or a factory worker? Or a janitor?

Try as you may, it is hard not to make assumptions about yourself and others based on occupation. Our culture pressures us to believe certain things about work and various occupations. A simple way to thwart your compunction to make assumptions is to recognize them in the first place and then analyze them. A valuable exercise is to write down on a piece of paper your own assumptions about the following occupations:

Doctor

Lawyer

Teacher

Bartender

Minister

Unemployed Person

Scientist

Car Salesman

Of course, if your occupation is not mentioned above, add it to the list along with your assumptions of how it describes yourself. Now ask “where do these preconceptions come from?” Are they stereotypes that you learned from your parents or television or society? Closely analyze what each of your assumptions about the chosen occupations listed above says about you. Invite them in to your thinking and face all of it: the good, the bad and the ugly. Would you be more willing to strike up a conversation with the CEO of a corporation than with a factory worker? Are you more dismissive to a waiter or waitress than you are to a boss or a famous actor? Try hard to think about the ways in which your assumptions could limit your relationships with other people and how these assumptions can limit your perception of life in general.

Do you judge people according to their careers? The majority of us do to some extent. The next time you meet a new person, try not to ask what they do for a living. Remain unbiased and find out other things about the person first if you can: hobbies, family, etc. Chances are they will probably be shocked that you did not ask them about their profession. Nonetheless, the important point of this week's article is “Getting Out of the Box” that you place yourself and others in regarding certain occupations. In order for you to experience peace and satisfaction in your chosen profession or in any other job that you may have had to settle with for the time being, it is vital that you get out of that boxed mindset.

Your assumptions are causing you to miss special opportunities for you to connect deeper with your fellow human beings. We are all individuals, unique and beautiful. The minute you place a person in a box labeled “Defined by Career” he or she becomes nothing but a clone, dull and lifeless. Why disregard or revere a person because of their “position”? Furthermore, why disregard or revere yourself because of your occupation?

It is important for you to look at your own assumptions about your occupation. Don't fence yourself in to a place where you cannot escape. You do have an advantage when it comes to yourself. You know yourself much better than the person you just met so how can you create stereotypes about yourself? Actually, you do all of the time. I know this sounds silly but we all do it! Have you ever heard yourself or another say, “I'm only a factory worker or I'm only a bartender?” Have you heard someone piously say “I'm the nation's best chemist!” One profession may make more money than another but that does not have anything to do with the internal worth of each individual.

A profession may reflect the inner person of an individual, and the way he or she does his or her job may reflect the inner being of an individual, but the profession does not CREATE the inner person. It is totally the other way around: the inner person or being manifests itself through the occupation.

So, what are you assuming about yourself in regards to your occupation? What positive things do you assume about yourself in regards to your job? What negative qualities do you attribute to yourself in regards to your current occupation? Examine your answers very carefully and match them up with how they coincide with your own vision of yourself apart from your job. You are not your job! You are not your financial status! You are you!

I am not going to argue the fact that what we do for a living does have an impact on our lives. Whether we accept it or not, our jobs have a tremendous impact on our personal lives. The most important step in taking a spiritual, Zen-like approach to your work life is being able to see beyond the job, beyond the label, and beyond the preconceptions that you place on people to whom you ask the question, “What do you do?” Remember, you are just you, who happens to have this or that occupation. Maybe you are exceptionally devoted to your profession. But it is because of who you are and not what the job is. Stop putting yourself and others in a box of labels and stop thinking that you are your job!

“Having a job does not make you anything but employed” ~ Eve Adamson

Next week, we'll explore getting into “the zone” and boosting your work efficiency, whether they are hectic or boring jobs, through simple meditative techniques.

Namaste!

Getting to Know Your Enemy

Written by Jason Shields

When someone makes you angry, your natural response to getting hurt is to become angry. Often, it does not just stop there. We continue to mull over the “transgression” a multitude of times until it consumes our entire thinking. This can occur moments after the incident and well into years after the hurtful event took place. Every time you think about it, you become angry all over again. How can we break this vicious thought cycle?

In the heat of anger, it is vitally important to remember that we tend to see things in black or white, all or nothing, with no shades of gray. If you can bring yourself to see the situation, the person in a different angle or from a variety of angles, the “black and white” thinking dissolves into a rainbow of colorful possibilities. If you search closely and carefully with a pure intent to see all sides of the person in question, you will be able to look at the hurt and anger you hold inside from another perspective. You will be able to see the person or enemy, if you will, as possessing certain positive traits in addition to the negative. This will take serious effort on your part, but the effort is worth it.

For example, reflect for a moment on a time when you were really angry with someone. At the time, you saw them as possessing 100 percent negative qualities. This goes both ways also: when you are incredibly attracted to a person, you tend to see them as possessing 100 percent positive traits. If, however, your “wonderful” friend or lover were to let you down or disappoint you in some purposeful way, that percentage would suddenly drop, sometimes into the single digits. Likewise, if your enemy were to come to you with a peace flag and sincerely beg for your forgiveness, your stance would change dramatically. It would be highly unlikely that you would see them as 100 percent “negative”. This thought exercise merely points out that none of us are 100 percent “good” or 100% “bad”. Everyone has good qualities no matter how “bad” they behave if you truly search hard enough. The tendency to see a person as completely negative is your own perception, your own mental projection, rather than the true nature of that individual.

In a similar fashion, a “situation” that you originally perceive as 100 percent negative can be altered so that you may find some positive aspects to it. However, even if you have discovered a positive angle to the situation, it is not enough; you must reinforce it through conscious effort and thought. When you are already in a difficult situation, it is not possible to change your attitude with just a couple of positive thoughts. It has to be a process of learning, training and getting used to the idea of incorporating new viewpoints that will enable you to deal with the difficult situation or person. It is time that you practice adopting a new perspective on your “enemy”.

When we think of our enemies, we normally do not wish good things for them. Say that your enemy is made unhappy or suffers through your actions, what is there for you to be so joyful or happy about? How can there be anything more hurtful and wretched than carrying ill will towards anyone? It is a heavy burden to carry hostility and hatred. If you take revenge on the enemy, you are merely perpetuating a vicious cycle where the enemy is hurt briefly and then retaliates – you will inevitably do the same and the cycle continues. So, how do we break the cycle of impoverished thought and action?

As a spiritual being, you must come to your own realization that your enemies play a crucial role in your development in becoming a better human being. Compassion is the essence of a spiritually abundant life. The practice of patience and tolerance is highly correlated with experiencing more love and compassion in your life. The Dali Lama once said, “There is no fortitude similar to patience, just as there is no affliction worse than hatred.” You must exert your best efforts not to harbor hatred or resentment towards your enemy; rather use this instance as an opportunity to cultivate your practice of patience and tolerance.

As a matter of fact, you can consider your enemy a great teacher who mentors you in the ways of patience and tolerance. Patience and tolerance are the forerunners of ultimate Love and Compassion for all sentient beings. Without an enemy's action, there is no possibility for patience and tolerance to develop. Sure, we have friends and family members who test us occasionally, but we place them on a higher perch because we are familiar with their quirky ways. We are more apt to forgive family and friends than we are our enemies because we know them more. We know that they are not 100 percent “bad”. From this standpoint then, we can view our enemy as our great teacher and learn to revere them for giving us this precious moment to practice patience.

If you really look at your life and the world in general, there are many people in the world who we do not know, much less interact with and even fewer who really cause us problems. So when the opportunity for practicing patience and tolerance comes along, treat it with the utmost respect and gratitude. You may be asking, “Why should I even acknowledge my enemy's contribution, he/she had no intention of giving me this rare opportunity to practice patience? They only have ill will towards me so therefore I have a right to hate them! They are not worthy of any respect!” Ponder this: most of us don't have legions of enemies and antagonistic people we are struggling with on a personal level. At best, the conflict is confined to a few people: our boss, coworker, an ex, a sibling, etc. From this perspective, an enemy is truly rare. The lesson is in the struggle itself, the process of learning to resolve the conflict with the enemy through learning and examination, finding alternative ways of dealing with them. This inevitably results in true growth and insight into your self and a successful outcome.

There are two types of enemies that we perceive: individuals and situations. As I have stated above, it is impossible for us, when we are looking at the individual or situation in a calm state of mind, to see them as 100 percent “bad”. Place yourself in the other person's shoes. Would it be fair for them to see you as a 100 percent “bad” or “evil” person just because you performed one purposeful negative action? Is it fair to be judged by one or two negative behaviors? No. At the time you performed or said the inappropriate behavior or words, you were in a mindset all on your own. Do we willfully intend to harm others? Ponder this question and take into your meditation practice. Of course not. When we hurt others, most of the time, we are doing it out of unconscious thought and actions. We are reacting to our feelings, usually rage and anger or a sense of “injustice” with our “rights” being infringed upon. In other words: it is unconscious insecurity and an unwillingness to face that insecurity and its root causes. Why do certain individuals rape others or murder others? Does it not fall into the category of a feeling of powerlessness and an attempt to gain power, however twisted and superficial it may be? Of course, this is not to say that rapists and murderers should not be properly prosecuted. We must, however, look deeper into all kinds of destructive behaviors which arise out of a feeling of insecurity.

All explanations aside: it is the very struggle of life itself that makes us who we are and provides us with the resistance necessary for growth. Needless to say, there are many people who have been forced out of their countries, with their family members murdered or mistreated, who have still managed to survive and thrive with a peaceful attitude towards their enemies and they are better people as a result. All of us are born as infants with flesh and blood bodies. We all are born into this world as innocent babes. Every person in the world is the same in this respect. However, we grow up and we learn different perspectives and different ways in which to handle our fears and insecurities. Realizing that we all act and react unconsciously to our inner fears and insecurities, we can better relate and embrace the enemies we encounter in life. How? By waking up to this very moment and asking yourself to consciously analyze why you feel the way you do. What is the real reason for your current feelings towards another? Breathe and bring it to the surface in the Now and truly see it for what it is: a feeling. Feelings change from moment to moment and the hurt that you have been unconsciously harboring for days, months and even years can no longer exist as long as you wake up and are consciously aware of those feelings and why you choose to hold on to them. Once you become fully aware of true feelings and conscious thought, you now have a choice to remain with them in the present moment or release them.

Namaste!

Zen and Now

Written by Jason Shields

For whatever reason, I have been rereading the basic tenets and precepts of Zen Buddhism. One of the main tenets that students are taught is to constantly be aware of the Present Moment, to be in the Now. As I write this, for the first time in a long time, I am fully aware of the smooth touch of the keys on the keyboard as they click over and over. I am aware of the warmth of the morning sun shining upon my desk, illuminating my favorite quartz crystal. There is someone mowing their lawn as the hum of their mower vibrates in through my office window. This is what is known as living Zen; being fully immersed in the present moment.

As a child, growing up with cerebral palsy and Asperger's did have its disadvantages, but I also learned to see the beauty of the other side of things, the advantages of being aware, of being alive. Even now, when my right foot tends to tense a little from the small spasms created by the cerebral palsy, I have learned to use it as a meditation tool. Zen teaches that we are to be detached to our feelings and thoughts. It does not imply that we ignore thoughts and feelings, but rather to acknowledge that they are presently there and simply observe them without attaching any further meaning to them. As a child, before the advent of medication for muscular spasms, I had to learn how to deal with the constant tightness of my muscles, particularly on my right side. I learned that the more I fought to relax the muscle, the greater it tensed up.

Now, thanks to Zen practice, I have learned to embrace the tightness, become one with it as an experience in the now and inevitably, the tension dissipates on its own. If it does not dissipate, I remain with it, simply experiencing it as part of life. As long as I do not allow frustration, which are thoughts of attachment and assumption to set in, the once “tense” experience becomes merely an experience. True Zen living means remaining conscious and alert in the moment. As you read this article, if you are truly present with it, you would not be thinking, “how far down do I have to read to get to the point?” or “I have so many things to do today, I have no idea how I am going to get everything accomplished.” Sound familiar. Or, you could agree with me that you have been present with reading my words all along, but were you really? What were you doing before you clicked on the link to this article? Who did you talk to? What did you eat for breakfast or lunch or dinner today?

The point I am trying to make is that if you are not fully aware and engaged in each present moment in life, you are not fully alive and conscious. Instead, you are constantly engaged in a mental dialogue with the past and the future always running to and fro from the past to the future and back again: guilt, regret, anxiety, expectation, etc. With all of this running back and forth, you are missing Life. Life happens now, not in the past and certainly not in the future.

Zen living forces you to answer the question, “Who am I?” Who are you really? Humans have been struggling with this question for eons, which is why so many “self-help” books are so popular. People are not satisfied with their lives; they think they can become something better than what they are. “You can be whatever and whomever you want to be,” quotes the latest gurus. Is this true or are we being duped? Are we simply stuck with what we have? Or are we asking the wrong question entirely?

You can not and will never become something new. Society encourages people to focus their entire lives on becoming something they are not. Is this realistic? Is it possible? How many times have you tried to change and been successful at it? For a day or two (an hour or two)? You inevitably slip back into your old habits feeling even more defeated prior to beginning.

Living Zen means giving up the idea, the promises, that the present will get you what you want in the future as long as you do the right thing, behave the right way, say the right words, feel the right emotions, look a certain way. I have two things for you to ponder:

1. How do you know what you will want in the future, or who you want to be? How do you know your intellectualized solution will work and make you happy or be any better than you are right now?
2. Is it really in your control to do anything you wish with your life?

May I suggest the following answers:

1. You don't know.
2. It isn't.

Before you start getting depressed and hopeless at my answers, you have to understand and get a true grasp on the nature of Zen. Zen goes beyond the dualities of optimism and pessimism because both of these states of mind are presuming to make judgments about the future. You don't know who you will be tomorrow and you certainly cannot control everything that happens to you in your life. And that is just fine! It doesn't matter! Why?

Because you are already who you are, and you are already everything you need to be.

In this present moment, you are complete. Don't misunderstand me; you can have goals in life and you can still work toward creating changes in your life. However, if you are scurrying desperately toward some ultimate idea or persona of you that is somehow better than who you are now, someone who is superior, stronger, and improved, you will not get there. Dear friend, you must see how complete you are right now before you can make plans for a different direction in your life.

These plans must be tentative though; because as we live each moment, the world continues to spin on its axis and all kinds of events happen and change to determine what will happen next. We must deal and face the unexpected from time to time. You cannot control the unexpected or how you feel about it. All you can do is continue in your general direction and go with the flow.

And what about your goal? Your goal is to be, right now. What's the point of your journey? To be, right now. To help you become aware and awakened to the present moment, do the following exercise:

Everyone washes their hands, at least I hope they do, before a meal. Zen teaches that the ordinary, routine things we do everyday can become an extraordinary experience of learning to be in the present moment. When you arrive at the sink, engage all five senses. Feel the touch of the faucet handle. Is it smooth? It is cold to the touch. Turn the handle and listen to the sounds. Does the handle squeak? Can you hear the rush of the water coming seconds prior to it gushing out of the faucet? Wait a few seconds for the water to become warm and like you did when you were a child, place your fingers in the stream. Allow the water to filter through the spaces of your fingers as you feel it getting warmer and warmer. Pump out a little dab of soap on your hands and smell its fragrance as you lather it through both hands and feel your hands as they touch one another. As you rinse off the soap, notice how the bubbles gently swirl around the basin of the sink and down the drain. Feel the comfort and warmth of the towel you use to dry off your hands. See? I knew you could do it! You've just experienced the present moment! Welcome to Life! You can do this exercise with anything, any chore, any activity during your day.

So, Who are You? I, or should I say “you” will answer that next week.

Namaste!

Handling Defeat

Written by Jason Shields

Recently, many people have experienced defeat in many of its various guises: unemployment, lack of money, a break up in a relationship. You may feel defeated at the present moment. Some thing or some one whom you were counting on failed to materialize the way you thought. Or, you may feel stuck and depressed, powerless over your current situations. How you look at defeat can change your life completely for the better and forever.

Remember this Truth: All people experience defeat daily, even myself. Did I receive and accomplish everything that I had hoped to receive and accomplish today? No. Am I defeated? Have I failed? Depends on the moment and the person you are asking. For myself, defeat is defined differently than what you usually read in the dictionary. Most people equate defeat directly with failure. There is a dichotomy here: on the one hand, defeat is real and necessary for growth and on the other, a feeling of defeat can be negative and destructive.

Firstly, there is no fun or sense of accomplishment in doing something where the chance of defeat is null. Going against the odds is in our human nature; it is what allows us to learn and adapt to changing circumstances in life. What fun is there in knowing that you are going to “win” or “accomplish” something without a little resistance or the chance of losing.

There is no such thing as a “bad” day; only bad instances, moments that seem to go awry. Hard times come and go throughout the day. However, there are good moments, positive and uplifting moments that we experience each day as well. Therefore, logic dictates that there is no such thing as a “bad” life; merely bad experiences. No matter how “bad” Life seems to get, be assured that the pendulum will always swing back to the other side and get better. It always does and always will. Life is in a constant state of change and motion. Too often, we become slaves to our fleeting thoughts and often irrational emotions. We make it too easy to get caught up in the way we currently feel as opposed to looking at life in the present moment, from a detached perspective and simply observe that which is – that which is in the Now.

What we attend to in the present moment is what defines our future selves, our directions, and our empowerment. If we are not moving and flowing in the direction of life's currents, then we are probably stuck in the bank of the river in a tight crevice of frustration, continuously trying to free ourselves loose. The problem is, we try to use the same old tactics: assumptions and “feeling” our way loose.

Assumptions are dangerous and most importantly, they require no action on our part. We simply make an assumption, a faulty judgment or thought about the situation, and then act. The problem with assumptions is that they have no facts to support themselves. They have no basis in true reality, only in our minds do they have power. We falsely assume that when the “right” time or “right” day or “right” person comes along, we will be saved and let loose and all of our problems will eventually dissolve. Life does not work this way. The same problematic situations will continue to manifest themselves through other avenues until you learn to face them and embrace them with the pure knowledge that every situation we encounter in our life is meant as a lesson to improve upon ourselves and the world.

“Feeling” your way out of a troublesome situation means relying on your emotions to somehow break yourself free of your problems. For example, you feel depressed because you gained five pounds over the holidays. Instead of accepting the fact of gaining the extra pounds and taking necessary action to rectify the situation such as eating healthier and exercising, you attempt to rectify it by spending money on some useless piece of clothing or a gadget to make you “feel better”. We tend to believe that when we feel better, we will do better. Dear friend, feelings are just as fleeting as thoughts from one second to the next. Depression may seem to be permanent, but you know in your heart that it is not. Depression comes and goes just like happiness and all other emotions come and go based on your thoughts and experiences of the present moment. Defeat then, is more a “feeling” than it is an outcome or a thing. Can you literally touch defeat with your hands? Can you taste it with your tongue? No! Defeat is merely a thought and a thought can be changed.

You can handle defeat in one of two ways: You can lose confidence in yourself, or you can learn from your mistakes and become better. Notice that I said “become better” which is implies taking action and trying again! Try again. In all of my life, I have never heard of someone dying from “trying again”. Knowing that you will make mistakes along the way is important too. It is a realization that life is far from perfect and that you are far from being perfect. It is a paradox but the “imperfection” in life and others is what makes living so beautiful and exciting! It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose the game; it is not a weakness, it is life. There will be times when it seems that you have lost and there will be times when you felt you have won the greatest victory the world has ever seen. One thing is certain, defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried in the first place is the true failure.

Stay Ready and Expect Great Things to Happen: Success Principle #5

Written by Jason Shields

The majority of people who are not achieving their goals or getting the most out of life are not organized and are not in a state of readiness and expectation. Many of us are waiting for something to happen, waiting for the right conditions, waiting for the right person. Instead, we need to focus on the right now. This principle is an outgrowth of Principle 4 – you have to keep working; you have to hustle. If you stay ready you do not have to get ready. When it all boils down to at the end of the day, it is what you do and say and expect that makes you who you are.

In essence, what are you doing each day to bring yourself that much closer to your goal? What actions are you taking? What thoughts are you thinking? What plans are you making? It is vitally important for you to take some action whether big or small toward your dreams. Even if it is sitting down and writing out a list of things you want to experience or creating a vision board where you use colorful pictures in magazines and paste them in a notebook for you to carry with you throughout the day. These images will remind you of what you are working so hard towards. Taking these actions prepares you; it allows you to be in a state of expectation for things to fall into place or at the very least, prepare you to be able to “see” the opportunities when they arise.

Staying ready also requires organization. One of the biggest mistakes people make is remaining in a constant state of disorder. Their homes are a mess; their offices are even worse. Order follows order. In other words, an orderly environment helps a person's mind become more orderly and focused. This may mean taking an entire week, a month for some of us, to go through our closets, desks, drawers, and getting rid of what no longer serves us and organizing what remains. I always feel better after I clean the house or mow the lawn and I do it at least once a week. Call it the Asperger's in me, but I find that when my office is clean and swept, I feel less anxious and more at ease to write without distractions.

In our hectic age, we desire instant results and I must admonish you dear reader: organization does not happen overnight. If you take things one at a time, or a room at a time, a closet at a time, etc., then you WILL get there. Once you are organized, it is important to keep it that way. This is one of my main problems. Yes, my house is clean, but it is so easy for me to allow the junk mail and bill receipts to pile up in one box until it overflows and covers the floor of the office closet. I still have to make myself sit down and go through every receipt and file every bill, transaction, and so forth and it usually takes an entire day if not two! Tax time is even worse, although I have to admit that I have made some strides. If I simply filed things where they should be filed as they came in individually, I wouldn't have to waste a whole day catching up. So, Stay Organized! Stay ready all the while preparing yourself, prepping yourself to move forward into a bright future.

Finally, what you say matters. Ask yourself what words you use daily regarding your future and your goals. Brain science has proven that physically saying what you think positively or negatively physically alters your neuronal connections. You are literally what you say! Speak forth positive and uplifting phrases that propel you forward and in a direction of expectation. This is one of the reasons I am so adamant on having an inspirational quote and affirmation of the month. When you think affirmations such as “I am rich, well and happy now!” these words, even though you may not believe them at the time, prepare your neurons to rewire in new connections. This enables your brain to reflect that belief out into your world. So keep on keeping on and speak what you wish to experience in life.

This concludes our Five Principles of Success. I hope that you have gleaned just as much as I have over the past five weeks in putting these principles to the test. May God bless you to new heights of aspiration and inspiration.

Namaste!