Decide Who You are Going to Be! Success Principle #3

Written by Jason Shields

Decide who you are going to be and what you want to do. There is a redeeming power that lifts us up and fuels our drive when we make a choice about who we want to become and what we want to accomplish in life. When you make a decision like this, you are no longer the “effect” of circumstances; rather you are the “cause” and the creator. Make that powerful choice. Just decide! From that point on, every obstacle will move out of your way as the Universe responds to your willpower and determination. 

It really is not necessary for you to “wait” until things fall into place. You are who you are going to be right now, at this very moment. Do you want to be an actor? There is an actor within, just waiting to be expressed. Do you want to be a lawyer? You already are, you just have to learn the aspects of that calling and express them. Clients often ask me “Jason, what is my calling?” to which I reply, “Your calling is what you decide it to be!” Yes, I believe that there is a Divine Plan to every individual's life, but it is participatory. God doesn't just “call” you to become an engineer, a writer, a personal trainer, etc. God does not “call” you to do anything. God simply reveals your innate desires and talents. You have the final “say-so” in this matter. God is not going to make your life a living hell simply because you fail his/her “calling”. Rather, change the meaning of the word “calling” to longing. You will always have a calling or a longing to be something more than you presently are. It is called progress and evolution.

Day in and day out, I see so many individuals who squelch such wonderful passion and talent, which I call, “God's calling cards”. Every one of us possesses them. These are the seeds of manifesting the life that you were meant to live. You have a Divine right to live the best life you could possibly experience and the way to that life is mapped out within your soul. God merely planted the seeds, but it is your job to nurture them with the water of determination and the sunlight of belief and faith.

Your purpose and passion is usually the thing that you talk about the most and is the easiest for you to learn. A friend of mine is heavily into Nascar and he can tell me every single statistic and fact on every race ever played. When I asked him how he knew so much about the topic, his eyes lit up and he replied “I love racing! I love the excitement and the drama of each race!” What can you spend hours talking or doing while the time flies by? Hidden within that passion lies your calling, the seed. Usually, when a person tells me “I don't know what I want to be or do,” it is an excuse. Down deep inside, they know what they want; they are just afraid to actually say it for fear of failure and ridicule from others. After a few pokes and prods from me, they usually come out and state their dreams. The biggest drawback that almost everyone faces when it comes to pursuing their passion is the fear of not being able to actually do it and achieve it. It is the action that they are afraid of.

If you decide who you are now and you take one action today towards your goal, you will be more than halfway to the Promised Land. Passion is a process, not the destination. Passion is the achievement. Passion is the fuel that drives you to get up in the morning and it is what keeps you awake at night when it is all you can think about doing. Remember that goals are only mile markers along your life, but your passion gives meaning to the entire journey. Always strive for something more each day. Challenge yourself. Learn something new. Strike up a conversation with a stranger and meet someone new. Open yourself to possibilities. Yes, there will be times when you feel rejected, sad, depressed and all you want to do is give up. We have all been there. However, you are here reading this which should tell you that you have not given up and you are holding on to that childlike hope that led you on this journey in the first place.

In reality, you already know who you are and what you are good at doing. Stop waiting for the “right time” and create for yourself the “right moment” now! The power is in your hands! Take action now!

Namaste!

Success Principle #2: Expanding Your Comfort Zone

Written By Jason Shields

“By stepping out of your comfort zone, you expand your comfort zone.” David Feder. In order to expand your comfort zone, you must be willing to step out of it. As a man with mild cerebral palsy and Asperger's syndrome, I face fear every day - big fears, small fears, unusual fears. However, I have learned to live with it and embrace fear as a lifelong friend who causes me to “get moving”. Fear of any kind can be reduced to a single belief system. This belief system is as follows: I believe that I will not be able to handle this particular situation. Fear is merely a symptom of the belief that you will not be able to withstand an event: the loss of a job, the loss of a loved one, an illness, poverty, etc. So, in simpler terms fear means “I can't handle this!”

Being the stubborn man that I am, I refuse to allow fear to dictate my life. It used to paralyze me as a child and regularly as a teenager. As I have grown throughout the years, I have realized that too often, we allow fear to dictate our lives without really asking ourselves the importance of why we fear certain things, people and events. Instead, we just continue along, avoiding fear in every possible way through distraction, food, alcohol, drugs, etc. Nonetheless, if we summon the courage within to ask why are we afraid, then we soon realize that the answer to absolving fear inevitably follows.

What is this Divine Truth? You conquer fear everyday of your life. You see, being brave does not mean you're not afraid, it means that you face the thing that you are afraid of. Whether you realize this or not, you do this everyday. There was a time when you did not know how to drive a vehicle. The first time you found yourself behind the wheel with your instructor was probably nerve racking. However, the more you learned how the car operated and the more you drove, the less anxious you became and now, driving for you is probably second nature. There was a point in my life where I was terrified of water and drowning. I took swim lessons as a child, but never learned fully how to swim/float in deep water. Having cerebral palsy made it more difficult to relax in the water. Three years ago, Jon and I decided to exercise in the pool at the local YMCA. Hanging along the walls were floatation belts of various sizes and colors and Jon urged me to put one on and go out into the deep water. The sheer thought of not being able to feel the ground beneath my feet made my heart sink into my stomach. Nonetheless, I put the belt on and begrudgingly inched my way out to the middle of the pool where the floor dropped off all the while strongly hanging to the side of the pool. Then Jon ordered me to “let go”. He assured me that he would be right there to catch me in case the floatation device malfunctioned and of course, it did not.

The moment I “let go” a new reality emerged and my eyes opened to a whole new realm of life where I was floating peacefully in a situation that used to hold immense fear in my mind. I was giddy; laughing like a little kid as I swam from one end of the pool to the other. Soon, I was swimming 3-4 times a week freestyle with the floatation device. Fast forward to a year ago. I had not been swimming as regularly as I should have for the past couple of years and once again decided to include it in my cardiovascular training. Again, I donned the big bright blue floatation belt and proceeded to continue my laps until one day, one of the lifeguards, Keith, proposed that I switch to a lighter 3 pad Styrofoam belt. It was less bulky and would allow me to swim more fluidly through the water. Again, fear overwhelmed me. Keith assured me that it would hold me up in the water, but I had to remember to relax and “swim” just like I had with the bulkier belt. Well, I took the chance in the midst of feeling afraid and did it! As expected, I had to kick harder and work harder to stay afloat but eventually, I relaxed and again, a new reality set in. My mind and my body learned to adapt to the new belt.

A couple of months went by until one day, I was just finishing one of my laps when I saw Keith drop a two-padded Styrofoam belt onto the floor next to my water bottle. The time had come once again for me to lose a pad and adjust to swimming with a lighter floatation belt. As can be expected, fear reared its ugly head and I had to face it. Keith assured me that I would not drown and he walked along the side of the lane as I boldly launched forth into the unknown territory. To my surprise, it did not frighten me as much this time around. Sure, I had to kick stronger but most importantly, I learned to relax even more, allowing my body and the floatation device to work in harmony. Currently, Keith has informed me that the time is coming soon that I will be wearing the 1-pad belt because I have adapted. I do eventually see myself completely “belt-free” in the future and will keep you apprised.

The whole point of my story is that the strength of your fear has no bearing on your ability to face it head-on. Whether you realize it or not, sooner or later, you will have to confront and deal with all of your fears. The key is being aware of why you are afraid in the first place. Using my example, my belief rooted in fear was: I believe that I cannot handle being able to swim and I will drown. Instead of waiting for that fear to overcome me and paralyze me in the event of being around water, I embraced it and took action. I learned all I could about swimming and the various ways to float. I sought instruction from a well-educated lifeguard and instructor and took action.

Fear, like any emotion, is an energy which is bi-directional. It can flow positively moving you towards expansion and spiritual growth, or it can flow negatively, moving you away from and constricting your life force until you feel powerless to do nothing. Fear will always be a part of our lives but it does not have to be seen or perceived as “negative” or “evil”. Fear is the human nature's way of allowing us to use our energy to adapt to new circumstances and learn and grow. This is one of the main reasons why literally force myself to do new and novel activities that present new challenges in my life. I strive to do this each week which is one of the reasons why I choose to go on live radio for two hours each Wednesday. It forces me to step out of my comfort zone and into a new realm where I have no choice but to feel the fear and take action anyway.

To sum up, let us look at the two solutions in dealing with fear of any kind. First, educate yourself on the very thing or situation that you are afraid of and simply reduce it to the equation: I fear X because I really believe that if it happens, I will not be able to handle it. The more you familiarize yourself with a topic the better prepared you will feel and whence, less anxiety will be present. Take the following fear which is present in most of us: public speaking. The equation would be: I fear public speaking because in reality, I fear that I will not be able to handle speaking in front of an audience and facing ridicule, etc. The fear is not public speaking, it is the belief that you will not be able to handle the possible ridicule and critiques of individuals in the audience. If you continue to break this down, you will find that each time you force yourself to “handle it” and take action in spite of your fear, the fear soon departs. You may for instance, walk up on stage for the first time shaking nervously, with a little stutter or crack in your voice, but you are handling it! You are taking action and doing the very thing you are afraid of. This brings us to our second solution: action. Taking action by putting yourself in those situations which challenge your fears allow you to face them and they soon begin to erode.

As a public speaker, I still get nervous every now and again before going on stage, talking on the radio or doing a television interview. The fear, however, quickly subsides and again a brand new reality presents itself allowing me to see this beautiful world in a whole new light. Just the mere thought of going live on the radio every week terrified me. I adapted though and now it is “second nature”. Friend, you just have to be willing to take that first step out of the comfort zone you have been accustomed to and the moment you do, you will find that you have expanded your being and growth ensues. You will soon realize that your “comfort zone” was not all that comfortable because you always had certain fears that were hiding beyond its walls. I leave you with these words: Educate and Initiate. Educate yourself and initiate action and you will find that your life is ripe with new experiences to explore.

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone" - Neale Donald Walsh

Namaste!

The Five Priniciples of Success: Principle 1 - Don't Compare Yourself to Another

Written by Jason Shields

I was recently inspired by a quote I read via Facebook: "I am thankful for the difficult people in my life. They have shown me exactly who I don't want to be." Below the post was a photo of the talented actor Will Smith who said: "If you're absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present during my success." I was inspired to write a series of five blogs each discussing a vital principle inherent in all successful people. Why five? Five is the number of change in numerology and also the current Life Number of the year 2012. So, let's embrace change and dive right in! Each week, we are going to delve into a principle of success that, if adopted, will drastically alter your life and the lives of those around you.

Success Principle #1: Don't Compare Yourself to Others

When we compare ourselves to others, we are putting the focus on them. We are focusing on their strengths while seeing our weaknesses. When human beings compare two things or people, they tend to see and focus on the differences between the two and not the similarities. A part of your unique identity dies every time you compare yourself with another person. We are constantly “advised” by the media on what we should own, how we should dress and what are bodies need to look like. In essence, we are giving total strangers a portion of our energy; precious energy that we cannot get back and our uniqueness dies. The light of our soul dims and the fire of our beings extinguishes. So, next time when you catch yourself comparing your life with another, stop. Just realize that the person you are comparing yourself to, has something that you admire. So how do you resist the temptation to compare? Try to turn it around and recognize the similarities of the person you admire. Remind yourself that if you can recognize the positive traits in another person, that you would like to possess, that those very traits are already within you. Otherwise, you would not have been able to see those positive traits in the other person in the first place. They are within you, just waiting for you to express them in your own unique way.

We act as mirrors for one another. The traits, whether positive or negative, that we see in other people are traits that reflect our own tendencies. If you see a quality in another person that you don't admire or like, don't attempt to change them, let it change you. Realize that your awareness of the unlikable trait is a reminder to yourself that you can change that trait in yourself or avoid it altogether.

For example, our country still has people who are bigoted and hateful towards minorities. They often justify their actions on their religious beliefs instead of taking responsibility for their own actions and thought processes. Being a victim of hatred and bigotry from my own biological family, I know firsthand what it feels like. I'm slowly working towards a personal goal of merely loving them back; to exchange their hatred for my feelings of love and compassion toward all people. Does this mean that one should just lay down and become a doormat of “love and compassion” while others trample all over you with their negativity. Of course not. Yes, when I see bigotry in another person, negative feelings do surface and I have to force myself to look within to see if I am prejudiced against that person in one way or another. I can also see this as an opportunity to remind myself of how I do not want to be and just move on.

Practicing this type of compassion will become easier as time passes and your whole life will take on a new meaning. You will not worry so much about changing the ones you love or the people you work for; instead, you will work to change your inner being so that when others look at you, you will reflect peace, compassion and total composure. It is time to work on you and your goals and focus on creating a future of abundance, peace and love. That, my friend is how you can avoid the comparison trap.

Namaste!

Jason

 

Spirituality is Learning to Connect

Written by Jason Shields

Spirituality is about connection: being connected with one another, being connected with the Universe. It is the process of being healed, forgiven and empowered to go into the world fully aware and fully alive. The key to that is having the experience of being fully and unconditionally loved. The problem many of us run into is that we think that the unconditional love is somewhere beyond us or outside of us. We erroneously believe that to be loved or to feel the power of love, it somehow comes from a source outside of us: a person, a pet, a child, even God. It is this “out there” mentality that divides you from within and fear and a sense of separation is born out of that division.

To know unconditional love and acceptance is to become aware of God within you, to become aware that God is a part of you which can never be separated. How do we get to that state of knowing, a state of fearlessness? 

There is an instinct in all of us that there is more to life, there is something greater out there than our daily routine. In order to reach our most beloved and cherished goals, we must have a fearlessness which propels us to ask the bigger questions and to explore areas of ourselves that we never knew could possibly exist. How do we live a fully alive, meaningful, generous, giving life? Why are we here? Is there something more?

When we are connected to the love, the peace, the harmony and the wisdom of God, which are all eternal qualities, we begin to express them and exude them. At that moment, you are “in the Spirit”. You are feeling your real essence, your Divinity. When you understand that you are more than your body; that you are the Spirit of God operating from within, you begin to see a whole new realm of spirituality and purpose. You have a right to be here! There is a calling on your life to be something greater than you could ever imagine. This means that you can live your life without fear and you know that no matter what happens, you are going to be okay.

I will leave you with a last bit of advice: 

Forget the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side as long as you are true to the best that is in you. As long as I live and breathe, I will be one person who will be here to help you and encourage you.

Namaste!