Written by Jason Shields
I was recently inspired by a quote I read via Facebook: "I am thankful for the difficult people in my life. They have shown me exactly who I don't want to be." Below the post was a photo of the talented actor Will Smith who said: "If you're absent during my struggle, don't expect to be present during my success." I was inspired to write a series of five blogs each discussing a vital principle inherent in all successful people. Why five? Five is the number of change in numerology and also the current Life Number of the year 2012. So, let's embrace change and dive right in! Each week, we are going to delve into a principle of success that, if adopted, will drastically alter your life and the lives of those around you.
Success Principle #1: Don't Compare Yourself to Others
When we compare ourselves to others, we are putting the focus on them. We are focusing on their strengths while seeing our weaknesses. When human beings compare two things or people, they tend to see and focus on the differences between the two and not the similarities. A part of your unique identity dies every time you compare yourself with another person. We are constantly “advised” by the media on what we should own, how we should dress and what are bodies need to look like. In essence, we are giving total strangers a portion of our energy; precious energy that we cannot get back and our uniqueness dies. The light of our soul dims and the fire of our beings extinguishes. So, next time when you catch yourself comparing your life with another, stop. Just realize that the person you are comparing yourself to, has something that you admire. So how do you resist the temptation to compare? Try to turn it around and recognize the similarities of the person you admire. Remind yourself that if you can recognize the positive traits in another person, that you would like to possess, that those very traits are already within you. Otherwise, you would not have been able to see those positive traits in the other person in the first place. They are within you, just waiting for you to express them in your own unique way.
We act as mirrors for one another. The traits, whether positive or negative, that we see in other people are traits that reflect our own tendencies. If you see a quality in another person that you don't admire or like, don't attempt to change them, let it change you. Realize that your awareness of the unlikable trait is a reminder to yourself that you can change that trait in yourself or avoid it altogether.
For example, our country still has people who are bigoted and hateful towards minorities. They often justify their actions on their religious beliefs instead of taking responsibility for their own actions and thought processes. Being a victim of hatred and bigotry from my own biological family, I know firsthand what it feels like. I'm slowly working towards a personal goal of merely loving them back; to exchange their hatred for my feelings of love and compassion toward all people. Does this mean that one should just lay down and become a doormat of “love and compassion” while others trample all over you with their negativity. Of course not. Yes, when I see bigotry in another person, negative feelings do surface and I have to force myself to look within to see if I am prejudiced against that person in one way or another. I can also see this as an opportunity to remind myself of how I do not want to be and just move on.
Practicing this type of compassion will become easier as time passes and your whole life will take on a new meaning. You will not worry so much about changing the ones you love or the people you work for; instead, you will work to change your inner being so that when others look at you, you will reflect peace, compassion and total composure. It is time to work on you and your goals and focus on creating a future of abundance, peace and love. That, my friend is how you can avoid the comparison trap.
Namaste!
Jason
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